Back Again

Hey I’m back again after a couple of weeks off. Sorry for the break, but in the time off my fellow Bobcats picked up some slack by making their own blogs. Of course, I’m talking about Jimmy, Frank, Brad and holy cow, even Nawlins Pete updated one time. I guess that’s still no excuse for my lack of posting. My excuse is still that I was doing my other blog, which rocks by the way if you like golf like I do, which I know most of you don’t. Anyway, without further ado, I’m back. Kinda.

Well, the biggest thing around here is that the Reds are hoodwinking everyone in Athens and Cincinnati. After another loss to the Pirates last night, the Reds are 26-20 after 46 games. Sound familiar? It’s the exact same record after 46 games last year. What’s that TErnst? Oh, their in the race for first place? Tied as we speak with the Cardinals. Let me drop a little knowledge on you Ern, the Reds are screwed. They’ll be lucky to be .500 by the All-Star break. In the last two weeks before the Break, the Legs play Philly 7 times, the Cubs 4 and the Mets 3. They’ll be lucky to be in third in the Central, the worst division in baseball, by the Break.

That being said, I want the Reds to do well, I just like fighting with Ernst about them. So, it’s easy to see that this team is way better than they were last year. From Doc’s blog this morning…

So, why do we feel so much better about this team than we did about that one? Maybe because last year’s lineup in Game 46 included Willy Taveras, Alex Gonzalez, J. Hairston and A. Rosales. J. Votto was on the DL and E. Volquez was less than a week from ending his season. The rotation included Micah Owings, not Mike Leake.

But turn that around. Given this team’s obvious edge in talent, why are we so much happier with this 26-20? The potential the Reds can sustain it? The fact that they’re tied for 1st w/the Cards, who are shedding starting pitchers at a rapid rate and now will have 3 rookies in their rotation?

Put simply, yes that is exactly why we’re more happy and optimistic about this team. They’ve gotten starting pitching that resembles a Major League ball club and some run support to get the fans excited. Regardless, Great American is still half-empty. Or if you’re TErnst, the eternal Reds optimist, the stadium is half-full.

Hopefully, the Reds keep their good play up. I still don’t know if they’ll last all year and be 2 games above or below .500 at season’s end.

Okay, that’s all I have on the Reds…

My team, the Magic are in the middle of a historic comeback, mostly thanks to my man…

JJ Redick has been the best player for the Magic this series, stealing playing time from Half Man, Half Retired. Unfortunately for me, if the Magic do want to really come back VC will need to show up and make some plays, which probably means less PT for one Jonathan Clay Redick. Regardless, I can’t wait for this game, mostly because all my dumbass roommates are rooting for the Celtics. Now don’t get me wrong, I like the Celts, I had a KG jersey in the 4th grade and loved it when he got to Boston and went on to win the championship, and holy moly was I on cloud 9 when the C’s beat LeBron and the Cavs, but enough is enough. Dwight needs to block a shot, get a rebound.

So, the finals will be the Magic and the Suns. Count on it. Somewhere, when that happens you will be able to hear David Stern crying. Another reason to not root for the Celtics: Nate Robinson sucks and Brian Scalabrini is a dumbass.

To recap, I care about basketball, not so much about baseball. Something else I don’t care about? Racing cars.

Fuzzy Zoeller is a golfer. He won a Masters and a US Open. My most relevant memory of him is this little anecdote he had to say about Tiger leading the Masters awhile back.

He apologized, but that’s what I remember him for.

Now, Fuzzy is in the liquor business. He has his own vodka and his vodka is sponsoring the #20 car in the Indy 500 this weekend

Golfing great Fuzzy Zoeller will be competing in the Senior PGA Championship this weekend, but the race car he sponsors, the Dallara/Honda/Firestone entry driven by Ed Carpenter of Panther Racing, will be at the Indy 500.

Did you guys catch that. What racing team? Panther Racing. Yeeeea. Ra ra ra

Elder, Elder, Elder

I just wanted to get the Elder shoutout in there.

Back to things I like. US Soccer.

Bob Bradley announced the final 23 man roster earlier today. No one too notable got cut, unless you play Fifa2010 and noticed that Brian Ching is out and Eddie Johnson ain’t coming either. Edson Buddle came in and took a spot as did Herculez Gomez. Here’s the full roster by position.

U.S. ROSTER by position
GOALKEEPERS: Brad Guzan, Marcus Hahnemann, Tim Howard
DEFENDERS: Carlos Bocanegra, Jonathan Bornstein, Steve Cherundolo, Jay DeMerit, Clarence Goodson, Oguchi Onyewu, Jonathan Spector
MIDFIELDERS: DaMarcus Beasley, Michael Bradley, Ricardo Clark, Clint Dempsey, Landon Donovan, Maurice Edu, Benny Feilhaber, Stuart Holden, José Torres
FORWARDS: Jozy Altidore, Edson Buddle, Robbie Findley, Herculez Gomez

Maybe it’s just me, but I’m tired of the PTI analysts being dumb. They all said last night’s loss to the Czech Republic was a terrible loss, especially since the Czechs aren’t in the WC. Also, the US played no body that will start in South Africa. It was a tryout for the bench warmers, with a few exceptions like Goochi who was trying to get back into game form. The 5 or 6 key players to the US success watched from a box and didn’t even dress. The next two friendlies, the first on Saturday, will give us a more accurate look at the team representing the Yanks in SA.

So, we don’t have to worry about the boys in the WC. Just ask my boy Jozy Altidore, who was slinging turds all over the leprechaun that is David Beckham. Jozy saw Becks at Lakers game and went over and made a prediction.

“I saw Becks there and I had to go over and tell him what is going to happen in South Africa,” Altidore said, according to Yahoo! Sports. “I made sure he knows how it’s going to be without him playing – USA 3, England 0.”

What a stud.

Another thing I don’t like? Chad Johnson.

I’m fine with this idiot going on TV and dancing and dating 85 women in a reality show, but he’s a football player. Show up to your workouts. Tony Romo ditched a golf tournament to make it to OTAs and as much as Romo is ridiculed for being a choke job, at least he’s won a playoff game, unlike Chad. I just wanted to say that. Anyway, speaking of Chad, his reality show might not work out as well as he wanted.

Chad and Cheryl have apparently become quite affectionate towards each other and Ocho even bought her a $10,000 diamond ring. The two have denied that they are dating but Chad is making it seem like he’s not interested in anyone else. Here’s what he said on Live with Regis and Kelly when asked about his new dating show:

“Unfortunately, this was already in place before I did Dancing with the Stars, before I met Cheryl. If I wasn’t doing that, she would have probably been the one.”

I’m sure VH1 is thrilled to hear that. What an idiot.

That’s all I have for today. Here’s the worst fight you’ll ever see between two grown men.

Boom.

Playing From the Wrong Fairway

That’s the name of my new golf blog. It used to be a travel blog from my golf trip to Scotland, which is still on the site, but now it’s more geared toward up-to-date golf news and shorter posts. It’s also a thing for me to do more succinct and reporting writing since I need to do that if I want a job.

In getting the new blog up and going, I haven’t had much time to do this blog, but I’ll be back next week to fulfill my other duties as your favorite blogger.

While I’m gone, you can enjoy my new protege, Jimmy’s blog. Good stuff for Reds fans and Cleveland haters, both of which I am.

And if you give a shit about golf, then you can check out my new blog: Playing From the Wrong Fairway.

Just for good measure, here’s a good video of bad parenting and an awesome little girl. If only LeBron could have done that last night.

PantherFest and PLAYERS Edition

The weather is getting nicer and nicer and it’s spring time at OU, which is now my alma mater. Weird. But I’m still up here living the townie life, working a little bit and looking for a job. The golf season is now in full swing and I’m pumped for that. My TV is pretty much constantly tuned into the Golf Channel and especially on weeks like this during big tournaments.

The PLAYERS is going to kick off tomorrow at the Stadium Course at TPC Sawgrass. If you ask me, it’s a pretty easy course. I can shoot like 22-under on Tiger Woods Golf 2009. I guess I’m just better than the pros.

But before the PLAYERS gets into the weekend, 59 N Court will be holding a little shindig of our own. In a moment of genius, Mr. Fings came up with the idea to have a beach party in Athens. One problem. Athens is land locked by a gazillion miles before you get to the ocean. No problem. Call a sand distributor and bring in 3 tons of sand. Literally. We’re making our back parking lot into a beach. The name for the party: PantherFest. Some people have their panties in a bunch about the name so they have some dumb spanish name that means “beach party.” Not one to step on any toes and be respectful of everyone, I joined in the fun and help my lady design the shirts. Here they are.

On the back it has the theme of the party, thought up by my buddy Pete: “I got 59 problems, but a BEACH ain’t one.” Hit me.

After that fiesta is all over, I’ll plop myself in front a TV and watch the PLAYERS while the rest of OU goes on riot watch.

The biggest storyline going into this week is that T. Woods’ number one world ranking could be in jeopardy. If Phil wins (possible) and Tiger finishes outside of the top 5 (probably more possible), then the hefty lefty takes over the number one spot. This is probably Phil’s theme song this week.

Speaking of Tiger, he was a little more busy than people might have thought. 121 women. That’s a lot. Bye bye Elin.

Woods handed a four-page list of conquests to his wife while undergoing sex-addiction therapy at a Mississippi clinic, the Enquirer reported.

At the time, Woods was trying to prevent Nordegren from walking out on him—and taking their two kids and a big chunk of his fortune with her.

There are Vegas odds on when it’s going to happen. It’s not like pick ‘em: Will Tiger and Elin get divorced. It’s over/under: Will Tiger and Elin get divorced before the US Open. Seriously. I might have to get Jimmy and Rob put some money down when they head to Vegas.

I bet Tiger would love to have seen these ladies do this a couple of years back. They would have been tracked down fo sho. Make them numbers 122, 123 and 124.

Back to normal golf. As usual, the PLAYERS is being billed as golf’s 5th major, which is ridiculous. Here’s why.

-This tournament is supposed be the TOUR’s big event. That’s fine with me. It always has a great field with the majority of the top 100 players in the world and if some journalist or player comes out and says, “Oh, this tournament is pretty much the 5th major,” then I can buy into that notion. When the TOUR is the main proponent of the nickname of the 5th major, it’s stupid. You can’t give yourself your own ego boost with something like that.

For some reason, this whole “5th major” thing is getting some big play this year, thanks to the world’s #4 ranked player, Mr. Tea and Crumpets Lee Westwood.

“I think it depends on whether you’re a PGA Tour member or not,” Westwood said. “I think The Players probably used to be regarded as the fifth major, and it felt that way back in the late ’90s. But since the invention of the World Golf Championships, I think it’s actually stepped back from that.

“They have to go in now [on the list of important events] before The Players Championship. So what is it, eighth on the list now?

“It’s still a big tournament, very prestigious, you get a great field, and it’s one that everybody wants to win, including me, myself.”

The Brit tried to save his ass at the end, but the damage was done. Maybe Westy will change his mind about how good this tournament is if he wins it this week. Me thinks if he gets the W it would be his first “major” win and the PLAYERS will jump back up to number 5 on the major counter in Lee’s book.

However, that’s neither here nor there because he won’t win. Camilo will. I’ll pick him because I’m a homer.

Camilo wasn’t my first choice though. My dude AK would have been my pick, but he’s not playing this week. The bad thumb that he’s been battling is too much for him this week so he withdrew. More on AK in a second. Freddie Couples and Steve Stricker also withdrew. Stricker doesn’t bother me because I don’t really tune in to see him. Sure, he’s been playing well over the past year, but nothing he does really sticks out to me. Freddie on the other hand is a stud. A silver fox, just like my buddy Stink. I love how Freddie just strolls up and down fairways, not giving a shit and has a swing tempo I would kill for. I guess I’ll have to watch the ageless wonder in a few weeks at Colonial.

Back to Anthony Kim. In this month’s Sports Illustrated, my favorite golf writer, Alan Shipnuck, got to hang out with AK at his house in Dallas and wrote a cool feature on him. AK is pretty much Vinny Chase. He lives with two of his buddies and the third member of the entourage pretty much lives with him too. The feature was a really good read, you can find it here, and it would be awesome if he actually did get his own reality TV show like he talks about. The guy is a stud. He hangs out in a huge house with his friends, Facebook stalks chicks and has around a dozen flat screens. He’s my kind of guy. Plus, instead of buying a Lamborghini, he just threw down for a black-on-black Bentley so he could fit his crew. I need a friend like him.

A couple odds and ends to finish up the post…

-If you take a dive in soccer, you’re supposed to get a yellow card. Fair enough in my book. If you have a heart attack in the middle of the pitch, fall over and die, I don’t think you should get booked. Some ref in Croatia thinks otherwise.

-Speaking of soccer, maybe I’m just a nerd, but this video about the new ball they’re using in the World Cup is awesome.

-With the NBA Playoffs going on, it seems like the NBA would love nothing more than to see Kobe and LeBron face off. Rappers have been using their names in their lyrics for a while. Here’s 25 of the best.

-I’m so pumped I’m not a Browns fan. Who signs someone without ever seeing them? How did they find out about him? A YouTube highlight tape. I shit you not. Then again, my team is about to sign PacMan Jones. Shit.

-I first heard about some Cornhole movie a year or two ago. Finally, the trailer came out and it looks miserable. At least it’s centered in Cincinnati and Hudy Delight is a sponsor.

-This is the industry I want to go into. At least someone has the same kind of sense of humor I do. Don’t get it? Check out the first letter of each column.

That’s all for today. Enjoy your weekends and PantherFest.

Boom.

A Masters of Fate’s Perfection

(Instead of writing a new blog today, I’m posting the Masters recap I wrote for a GolfWorld Dream Assignment. The winner of the writing contest gets to go to Scotland to cover the Open Championship in July. It had to be under 800 words, so I didn’t get to write everything I wanted, but this is what I entered. So, here’s today’s post.)

The circus came to Augusta the week of the 74^th Masters with the world’s number one golfer playing the role of ringleader, but it was Sideshow Phil who took the National by the azaleas and at week’s end, donned his third green jacket.

In perhaps Phil Mickelson’s greatest win, it wasn’t having the jacket draped over his shoulders for the third time in seven years that mattered most, it was having his wife, Amy, behind the 18^th green.

“I wasn’t sure if she was going to be there,” Mickelson said afterwards. Amy, who has been battling breast cancer for the past year and is still on medication, made the drive from the rented house to the course in time to see her college sweetheart hole a 10-foot birdie putt on the 72^nd hole to defeat Lee Westwood by three strokes.

Sideshow Phil finished the tournament with a 16-under 272, a score that is the fourth lowest in tournament history.

But what about the ringleader? Tiger Woods. Remember him? After a five-month golf moratorium fraught with scandal, the world number one came back to Augusta to regain his chokehold on the golf world.

With the entire sporting world watching, Woods returned the sport he had dominated over the past decade looking no worse for the ware as far as ability goes. Woods finished, what for him is a disappointing, T-4 with an 11-under 277.

After Jack and Arnie hit the ceremonious first tee shots Thursday morning, it was a pair of old guys atop the leaderboard that were turning heads. Fred Couples (50) and Tom Watson (60) had taken the spotlight off Woods and Mickelson (although both had good opening round scores) to make golf fans think of Masters past.

Freddie’s bad back and the added length of Augusta National Golf Club proved to be too much for the old timers, as Couples finished 6^th and Watson finished T-18.

Friday and Saturday saw a second coming of the British Invasion as Lee Westwood and Ian Poulter topped the leaderboard.

While Poulter struggled on moving day, moving the wrong way on the leaderboard, his fellow countryman Lee Westwood seemed to be making the right moves to win his first major championship.

After three rounds, Westwood led Mickelson by one stroke and Woods and KJ Choi by three.

In the final group on Sunday, Mickelson kept a pretty bland scorecard on the outgoing nine, recording only one birdie and shooting one-under 35. Westwood, Mickelson’s playing partner, did not have the even keel front side that Sideshow Phil did. Three bogeys and two birdies put Westwood one stroke back of Mickelson.

But as we know, “the tournament doesn’t begin until the back nine on Sunday,” and it was on the back nine that Sideshow Phil came into the center ring and stole the show.

After saving par on the tough 10^th, Sideshow Phil went through Amen Corner in two under, birding the difficult and daunting 12^th hole with Rae’s Creek moseying along in front of the green and hit the shot of the tournament on the par-5 13^th.

Sideshow Phil pushed his drive to the right, sitting on some fluffy pine straw in between two trees.

“I had a good lie in the pine needles,” Mickelson explained. “I was going to have to go through that gap if I laid up or went for the green.”

Phil being Phil, he told his caddie, Jim “Bones” Mackay, to pull the 6-iron, he was going for the green. One perfect swing and 207 yards later, Sideshow Phil had four feet for eagle. Mickelson missed the eagle try, but made the come-backer for birdie and put it in cruise control the rest of the way in.

KJ Choi, the Korean they call the Tank, had been soaring up the leaderboard, but his charge subsided after Phil’s magical 6-iron on 13 and he finished T-4.

Anthony Kim was making a move of his own, rolling in putts from all over the mighty National. Kim shot a 31 on the incoming nine and posted a 12-under 276, good enough for his best finish at Augusta, third place.

But the day had to be Phil’s. The ever-amicable Mickelson, the proverbial “good guy” of golf, had to win this one. The light that shone on the golf world in the past five months was not a favorable one. Mickelson was the likable guy from SoCal who married his college girlfriend and had three adorable daughters. They caught some bad breaks in the past 12 months with both Phil’s wife and mother being diagnosed with breast cancer, but when Sideshow Phil rolled in that last birdie on 18 and gave his wife a hug, he took center stage and the world couldn’t have been happier for him.

Not Afraid

It was a nice weekend here at the Mecca in Athens, Ohio. Built in the middle of all the street fests that OU is notorious for, everyone cleans there house for the first time all year and the moms descend on the city for a weekend of daiquiris and Michelob Ultras. I swear, that’s all moms drink. We had people at our house both nights this weekend and the moms were living the ultra life en masse. So that was fun.

If you’re not following the best rapper alive on twitter, you should be. Follow @Eminem and @Shady_Records to get some awesome information. For example, I found out that Em was going to be on Angela Yee on my Sirius radio to release his new single. Here’s him talking about his new CD “Recovery” and this is him talking about sports, because he’s the coolest. It’s hard to find a video of his new song because they keep getting taken off YouTube, so here’s the link to hear his new song, “Not Afraid.”

And just for Mink, who thinks Lil Wayne is the best rapper alive, he’s wrong. Wanna know why? Because Wayne hasn’t done a thing before this decade, and let’s see who the best selling artist of the decade is? It’s Eminem and it’s not even close, so there’s that. Plus, Eminem rips on Big Ben, Professional Molester, in a freestyle. Here’s that for your listening pleasure. If you just want the gist, here’s the lyric:

“F**k that, I’d rather turn this club into a bar room brawl. Get as rowdy as Roethlisberger in a bathroom stall.”

Ha.

I just spent my Sunday afternoon watching golf, which for me was awesome. Schroeder didn’t even come in my room to bother me, which is nice. Rory McIlroy just won Quail Hallow by sinking every putt he looked at, shooting a 10-under 62 today beating Sideshow Phil by 4 strokes. (You’ll get the nickname tomorrow when I post my entry in a writing contest). Rory turns 21 on Tuesday. He made the cut this weekend on the number. After two rounds he was +1, right on the cutline then proceeded to shoot 16-under on the weekend, which is pretty impressive. Someone who didn’t make the cut? A certain Elderick Woods. Who knows what’s going through that guys head? Actually, I know what’s going through his head. Miserable music.

“Tiger Woods partied like a rockstar last night — leaving his Isleworth compound to hang out backstage at a Nickelback concert in Orlando, according to a source at the show.”

I have no more words. We’ll see him next week at The PLAYERS.

Sports Illustrated does a survey of tour players every year for their PLAYERS preview issue that’s entertaining. Here’s this years effort. Spoiler: Tour players don’t seem too keen on the President. My favorite answer was what a pro said when he was asked if a pro should have his own reality show…

“Tiger two years ago would be interesting.”

Last thing golf related, the Royal and Ancient decided to shit on my parade and mess with my hole St. Andrews for the Open Championship. The Road Hole (17th hole) is being lengthened by 35 yards so that the road behind the green and the Road Bunker come into play more. Here’s a picture of the new tee from above.

The angle is still the same so I guess it’s okay. I made this hole my bitch when we went over there last summer. We played the Old Course twice (suck it Jimmy) and I had a pitching wedge and a 56-degree wedge into the green, so I guess the idea to lengthen it for the pros makes sense. The second time we played it, I hit my second shot to 10 feet. Just sayin. Here’s my birdie putt.

A quick word on college hoops. The NCAA announced that they will be expanding the NCAA Tournament field, but only to 68 teams, which is fine with me. It will keep the same format for the most part, and maybe UC can make it this year. But I doubt it.

Also, looks like Coach Cal is at it again down at UK. Somebody made up a fake Facebook account and asked star recruit Marquis Teague. Just a matter of time before the Wildcats are on probation.

Good to know college hoops is in a good place.

Less than 40 days until the World Cup. I got my jersey in the mail last week. Jozy Altidore away kit. I look really good in it, but I still think she looks better.

In other soccer news, Charlie Davies hit a little snag in his comeback trail to make the USMNT. My dude Jozy had a tough end to his loan to Hull City, being sent off with a red card. Hopefully, he’ll be ready for South Africa.

Courtesy of my brother, here’s my boy Messi playing with some prairie dogs and Pepsi.

The coolest soccer celebration ever.

The Kansas City Wizards are terrible. I know this because I play FIFA10 and after beating my roommate Cliff by 12 or something ridiculous, he picked them to be the team I had to be. That being said, this fail doesn’t surprise me at all.

Barcalona lost in the Champions League semifinals by aggregate goals. The last leg was played in Barca, so when Inter wanted to celebrate, they were at the mercy of Barcas field manager. He didn’t want them to celebrate, so he turned on the sprinklers.

I’m kinda cramping shit in here at the end because I want to watch Conan on 60 Minutes tonight. I’m excited to see my buddy on TV again.

Before I go though, here are a couple videos to make you chuckle.

This is America. Speak English. If this guy gets voted into office, our country is not in a good place.

This guy wants to hang out with Kobe.

Being the Cincinnati Man that I am, this is the coolest thing ever. Sky-Rosa.

Girls high jump. Hint: hit the pad.

And finally, my buddy Pete had his very own dance party last night. He says he wants to kick the bucket by 40, but if he has a change of heart and lives for a long time, this could be him.

That’s all for now. Enjoy Conan on television.

Boom.

All Over the Place

This post is going to be all over the place and maybe a little short because I’m watching the Champions League Semis right now. My dude Lionel Messi is a stud.

I can’t wait for my girlfriend to go to Argentina next year for two reasons: 1) I won’t have to hang out with her for a couple weeks; and 2) My souvenir, so long as she comes through for me, is supposed to be a Messi jersey, which would be sick.

After watching the game, I’m hitting up the links with some dudes to begin my run at the PGA Tour c/o Q School. My putting has been what’s been holding me back, however while I was watching the Masters last week I decided I could cure my putting woes with a new putter grip. More specifically, the putter grip of KJ Choi. So here is a picture I just snapped as I prepare for the Champions League semis with my boy @NawLeansPete next to me. Of course, I’m drinking some red pop.

So, with this new putter I should shoot somewhere around 30 and get the kick start I need to head to the pros.

The NBA Playoffs are going on. I hear a lot of people say “I won’t watch the NBA until the Playoffs when they  actually start playing defense,” which is bull shit, they play defense, but their the most gifted scorers on the planet. And since I was a shooting guard my entire life, I’ll give the benefit of the doubt to the scorers being more talented than the defenders, so there. But, according to this flow chart, it’s not that crucial for you to watch, especially if the Dude is on.

The Dude abides.

More awesomeness coming from the NBA Playoffs is my growing affection for Joakim Noah. I hated Noah at Florida and pretty much all the way leading up to their first round playoff matchup with the Cleveland Cavaliers. Then Noah hooked me. He had me from “Cleveland (as a city) sucks.” This is just awesome for me, especially being in Athens, OH, which is pretty much Cleveland South. I’m sure when I leave, I’ll support the Cavs as Ohio’s team, but not while I’m in Athens. So, after saying Cleveland sucks, Noah was asked after their loss last night if he regretted what he said.

“Not at all,” Noah said. “You like it? You think Cleveland’s cool? I never heard anybody say I’m going to Cleveland on vacation. What’s so good about Cleveland?”

Fantastic.

This is easily the best chance for a Cleveland championship in a long time. They have been bad for a long time. It dates back to “The Shot” that Jordan hit over Eloh. Here’s what went on inside that huddle.

But, if Joakim Noah’s antics aren’t enough to make you tune in and neither is the fantastic basketball, then you have to watch so you can see Inside the NBA with Charles Barkley, Kenny Smith and Ernie Johnson. They win Emmys and shit for their work. Plus, it’s insightful and hilarious at the same time. Take this exercise thing that Sir Chuck is using. Quality television.

The other big story of the week is the NFL Draft beginning Thursday. One of the most overrated and over-covered events in sports, in my opinion. We have grease monkey Mel Kiper Jr. and Todd McShay projecting every pick, when really they have no credentials to be doing so. They just use the words that make them sound informed: ‘tremendous upside,’ ‘specimen,’ ‘war room,’ ‘character guy’ and ‘intangibles.’ Mel Kiper doesn’t really have that many friends in the league apparently, this from the 1994 Draft.

A couple things about this video: -Alright Redlegs, pulling it out in extras.

-Solid outing for Jose Rijo, 7IP and 8Ks.

-The Cowboy gets the W, making him 1-0 on the season.

-Keith Olbermann at the end of the video is hilarious looking. Nice mustache and shades, dude.

Other things on the draft that concern me: Here’s an article that says Party Mardy would be a good pick with the form of someone like DeSean Jackson, even though he kinda puts down fellow Bobcat Taylor Price.

-Also, Mardy Gilyard’s real first name is Marshwan. Who’d a thunk it? Learn something new every day.

-At least there are drinking games to play while watching that godawful draft coverage.

In the world of golf, the median age of viewers watching the Masters went up this year. Even a sex scandal can’t make younger people watch golf. Oh, well. Between me and my friends, we brought that age down, so it could have been in the 60s.

In other good golfing news, the US Open is going to be broadcast in primetime on the East coast, which is awesome. Now, I can watch the tournament at night instead of going out to the bars and spending my money. Always a good thing.

I’m just spitballing here, but take a look at this picture.

With everything that has happened in the past couple of months, who do you think is more ashamed to be pictured with the other, Tiger or Big Ben?

Now some videos to wrap it up because I gotta get ready to go to the course.

-When you’re on the away side and you score a goal, don’t go celebrate in the stands, you may get punched.

-I tried to watch Dancing With the Stars for Chad 8-5 and EA the Sideline Princess. I was underwhelmed, but I saw this video from last night’s show. EA is getting it done.

-If you can play four chords, you can make a hit song. This is pretty cool.

-And finally a poll. Which video song is better, UC or OU?

That’s all I got. Hopefully Barca can overcome giving up the equalizer and pull ahead in the 1st Leg.

Boom. I’m going to go shoot a 30.

Why Are You Yelling? You’re a Foot From Me.

So this past weekend was one of my favorite of the entire sporting year. I spent Thursday through Sunday watching and playing golf. It didn’t suck. My father and I rode out to Missouri to meet up with my little brother and whack some balls and watch some golf. A good time had by all, especially young Michael Gossum as his boy Phil came through to win the Masters for the 3rd time in his underachieving career. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate Phil, I just don’t root for him. Mostly because I’m tied up in a bet with one of my friends.

I took Tiger to win more majors during our college years and he took Phil. I kinda felt bad for the kid after Tiger won four to Phil’s one. Then, Phil, my friend, not Mickelson, decided to up the ante by taking double or nothing going into this year. Pre-scandal. Naturally, I took it with Augusta, Pebble and St. Andrews on the dockett. Now, I find myself one down after one major. I’m not sweating it though.

So, even though I didn’t exactly pull for Phil, I’m not completely upset he won. I’m writing a story on him for this contest I’m entering, so it’s helping me see the good in what he did and has done. Also, while out in Missouri, I was introduced to this little doozy that makes me like Phil a whole lot more.

Scoops.

And as much as it pains me to like him, this is one of the coolest things ever. The Hefty Lefty flaunts the Green Jacket while going through a Krispy Kreme drive-thru in Augusta, which is awesome.

(Sidenote: You know, since I’ve been the Masters, no biggie, I can’t remember if we went to the Krispy Kreme or not. Maybe for some coffee for my dad, but I do know that our stay at the lovely Masters Inn was very close to this Krispy Kreme store, so yeah. There’s that.)

But, I’m with Phil. If I had myself a Green Jacket, you bet your sweet ass I would be wearing that shit all over the place. Fuck, I’d wear it to the practice round at the US Open and tell everyone else to suck it. And it’s good to see that Phil is watching his cholesterol intake.

-So. Tiger. Highlight of the weekend for me, as far as Tiger goes…

Anyway, it was still pretty impressive how he came out and rained all over Augusta after taking 5 months off. Did you really expect anything else though? He’s the best player of all time. Everyone knows his mantra, “I don’t enter a tournament unless I think I’m going to win,” so why would anyone expect him to shit down his leg. He saved that for Sunday on 14. I really wasn’t all that surprised. I mean, I was that he missed it, but he had been doing that for the past two days. By ‘that’ I mean finishing putts that were pushing three feet. I made a comment that he was a little too nonchalant over those “tap-ins.” That just seemed like the one that would permanently end his bid for the jacket. It would have been interesting to see what would have happened if he had made that putt, then went on to eagle 15 and do whatever else on the way in. Post the number and see how Phil would handle it. Alas (yes, alas), it wasn’t meant to be. And maybe it was for the best. It seemed like fate for Phil. Hard to hate him after all he’s been through, so kudos to you, Phil. A tip of the Guinness to you, Hefty.

And just because it’s funny and has a couple Tiger clips and Coach K makes an appearance, here’s ‘This Week in Unnecessary Censorship.”

-I’m not a huge baseball nut, but the Reds are above .500. Woo. Cincinnati, let’s celebrate some mediocrity! I feel like Jay Bruce is doing this to me, the realistic analyist.

Right back at ya, JB. That’s about how many hits you have all year, ya bum. I’m only talking about this because my boy, fellow OU alum, Thom Brennaman doesn’t like Mike Lincoln, much like the rest of Reds fans. Listen closely.

-I’m trying to keep it short tonight, because I got plans, but I feel it is my duty as a member of Team Coco to talk about him getting the gig on TBS. I’m not a fan of George Lopez, but I’ll watch Conzy. He’s on tour right now, and here’s a clip from his first night in Eugene, OR.

-When I watch this video, I can’t help but think of my cousin, Jake, who is convinced his kid is going to be the next big thing because he is going to train him as soon as he’s out of the womb.

-And now, for something that only interests me. Harry Potter, the Exhibition. Just getting excited for the Wizarding World to open.

That’s all I have for tonight, Scoops.

Boom.

The Missouri Masters Edition

So, I’ve been glued to the Golf Channel for the last week because one of my favorite sporting events started today: The Masters. I feel like I should update the blog now because tomorrow morning, my dad and I are heading out to Missouri to visit my little brother and his roommates for a weekend of playing golf, watching golf, boozing, sleeping. Repeat.

Ok, Masters talk. This is the best leader board ever. There are nine past Masters champions under par in the first round. And Tom Watson, Freddie, Sandy Lyle and Langer are all 50+ and in red figures. Tiger’s obviously playing well, but more on him later. Phil lit it up, but he can’t win because I double-or-nothing-ed my bet with Philip that Tiger would win more majors this year than  Hefty would. Lee Westwood, A. Scott, @ianjamespoulter and my dude AK are all within a few strokes. It could be the best Masters, as far as names and clout, in my lifetime. So, for my pick… I’ll go with

KJ Choi. Boom.

Why? No one’s picking him. He’s a sideshow to Tiger’s circus and he’s raining putts from all over. Plus, I just bought the same putter grip he uses, so I got that going for me, which is nice.

If Tiger hits the ball like he did today, and then gets his putter going, he will shit all over the field, even Freddie and his goofy ass shoes. He hit his driver well and his irons were unbelievable. If he made some putts from 10 feet or so, he’s winning by 2 or 3. As it stands, he’s not. Whatever. I’ll pick KJ Choi, but I won’t be rooting for him, just an objective journalistic pick.

Can’t wait for the rest of the weekend.

Back to the Tiger thing. His new commercial is out with Earl talking to him while he stares at the camera. If you haven’t seen it yet, here…

Tiger said in his press conference that he thinks it’s “apropos” and “what [his] father would say.” It might be the gist of what his father would say, but I bet he would use the f-word. Then again, E-Dawg was apparently quite the lothario himself, so let he who has not sinned cast the first stone. But, my question is, what are you trying to sell? Tiger as a role model outside the ropes is impossible to market again. And then just leaving him sitting there? Even I could do a parody of that thing and my video editing skills are minimal. Nerds all over the world will take this ad and parody the shit out of it. Here’s what KFC from NYC Barstool Sports had this to say about the commercial.

What a fuckin cushy job writing commercials is, huh? This is easily one of the worst commercials of all time and its being talked about in every news outlet in the city. Right now you could run a 30 second spot of Tiger taking a dump and it would be all the talk. But just staring at his goofy ass while they play some recording of his Dad rambling is pretty lame, especially for Nike. If you ask me they should do a Lil’ Tiger commercial like they did with Lil’ Penny. Just have a Lil Tiger sexting bitches about golden showers and banging other little whore puppets popping ambien and get Chappelle to do the voice over. You wanna sell some golf clubs Nike? Get on that shit ASAP.

Shit yea. Chappelle already did a Tiger thing. I think Lil Tiger would be a good idea. Here’s the Chappelle clip…

The closest thing Tiger ever did to using a Lil Tiger was Frank, his headcover. Here are four commercials with TW, three of which feature Frank.

That’s all I got from the Tiger camp. There were some planes flying over Augusta. If you’re so inclined, Google that shit. And for some parodies, YouTube it. I would put some good ones up on here, but the ones I saw earlier are already being taken down by Nike for copyright shit.

Other stuff:

Lance Stephenson is going pro. I think it’s smart for him. He’s not going to get any better learning under the genius that is Mick Cronin. If his skills are going to be developed, an NBA guy can do a way better job of that than Mick. He said he needs to support his family. He’s got a little girl. Who’s going to argue against that? If you do, you’re a dick head. What does it mean for UC? It’s kinda like in Forgetting Sarah Marshall when Sarah tells Peter that Crime Scence: Scene of the Crime has been cancelled. She asks how he is going to be since he doesn’t have a job anymore. His answer is exactly what UC fans are thinking. “I’m fucked, frankly.” Alright! NIT! Cincinnati loves mediocrity (see: the Reds, every year). The upside, for me at least, is that Jordan Crawford is leaving, too. So Xavier fans can suck it and take down their dumb ass Facebook group.

(small tangent coming)

That Facebook group I was talking about is called “Jordan Crawford, Xavier Nation Loves You and Begs for One More Year.” Here’s the group description.

Jordan Crawford, you demonstrated amazing feats of basketball throughout the 2009/2010 season and especially during the NCAA tournament.

Can’t argue that.

You are a true teammate, leader, and Musketeer.

Okay, teammate and Musketeer? No shit. He plays for Xavier in a five on five game, so he has to be those two things. Leader? You got to be fucking kidding me. He’s a punk. Jason Love was a leader. Terrell Holloway was a leader. Shit, Johnny Mazza was more of a leader than that selfish prick.

The loyal and devoted fans of Xavier University basketball are fiercely proud of you and want you to know how much you are appreciated.

Fiercely proud? Who says that?

While the NBA certainly awaits your limitless potential and will handsomely compensate you, your opportunity to play all for one and one for all is limited and priceless.

Limitless? An undersized two guard who chucks up every shot he sees does not deem his potential limitless. Cheesy Three Musketeers reference is not worth my time and creative energy. Limited, okay, I get it, four years of eligibility. Fair enough. Priceless? No. I can put a price on it. How about $28,570. That’s one year’s tuition. Don’t tell me priceless. He’s getting paid to go to school. It’s not priceless.

Seize this opportunity for the Xavier Nation, for your Musketeer teammates and, most importantly, for yourself. STAY ONE MORE YEAR. We love you, bro!

We love you, bro! Bro? God damnit, are you fucking with me? On my head?

(end of my tangent)

-That thing Jon Scheyer did by seemingly tweeting his number after the National Championship game was awesome. You know why? Because it was his friend’s number from high school. The kid got 2000 texts and hundreds of phone calls. Touche, Scheyer. Well played.

-Conan is going on tour. Apparently, he’s using the internet pretty well to get his message out there. So, yea. Old people can tweet.

-This is awesome. Funniest teacher ever. If you fail the test, you get your grade back with a McDonald’s application.

-Cristiano Ronaldo does this little stutter-step thing on his penalty kicks to throw the goalie off. Like these…

And he can because he’s one of the best players in the world. Now, it’s turning into some kind of phenomenon. Unless you want to be your own man, then you put your own spin on it and then get blocked like a dumb ass. You’ll get the pun after the clip.

Get it? He spun.

Finally, the greatest women’s basketball team of all time had 12 points at halftime of the National Championship game. That’s why you don’t watch women’s basketball. I learned a long time ago that you watch sports to see people do stuff that you can’t. So, I don’t watch women’s basketball. Unless they do some crazy crafty shit like this and try the old step-up dunk.

Okay, two things. 1) I love how the chick who comes down on the (fast?) break misses two wide open lay-ups (sound familiar XU women?), and then runs back down the court. 2) As Chicken Little runs the other way, what coach, especially a girls coach sets up the secondary break to include one girl getting on all fours so another can jump off her back? You’re team is playing against other girls, they’re not going to block you.

Time for bed and then the trip out to Mizzou. Enjoy your Masters.

Boom.

One Shining Turd.

Last night’s game was awesome, especially for me and Jimmer. Duke pulled it out. It was sloppy and nothing like the rhythm Duke had in their Final Four match-up with West Virginia. Kyle Singler stepped up and made up for his disappearance Saturday night, so much so that he was named MOP of the Final Four. Nolan Smith was awesome in getting Duke going in the beginning. Hopefully, both of them come back for their senior year. Butler’s perimeter defense was unreal and really took me by surprise in that they kept Duke completely off-guard, but they got it done. So yay. We got blue shots to celebrate, which was neat. I wasn’t the only person who was excited though. Jon Scheyer was so jacked, he tweeted his phone number and told his followers to “hollerrrr at him.” I did. Twice. No answer. Double turds.

I liked the shirts and hats, too. The shirts more than the hats, but whatever.

After the game was over, my biggest fear was realized. CBS had been pimping the Jennifer Hudson singing “One Shining Moment” thing. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Jennifer Hudson, but she sucks. So I guess I have that against her. And she butchered and ruined my favorite part of the tournament.  I told the people I was watching it with if they show her stupid ass during the song it would be ruined. Not only did they do it once, they did it multiple times. I didn’t want to see Jennifer Hudson’s linebacker ass in the studio, I wanted to see OU and the XU/K-State finish and maybe even some UNC highlights. Nevermind, they weren’t in it. Suck it Faigle. Regardless, she sucked it up. A lot of other people agree with me.Good news though. Someone did a redux of this year’s song, dubbing Luther Vandross’ version over Big Foot’s and she’s not in it at all. Here it is…

-More good news, it’s Masters week, officially making Jim Nantz the luckiest fucker on the face of the Earth. He calls the Final Four and National Championship, then hops on a plane and flies on down to Augusta to call the Masters. Tough life.

Anyway, T. Woods talked to everyone yesterday. I thought it was decent. He answered pretty much all the questions asked of him and he kinda let out some information that no one knew before. He sounds sincere, but time will tell, and he’s playing golf and honestly, that’s the only thing that concerns me. There are a million takes on how the press conference went, but one thing I noticed was how he tried to be so personable. I read somewhere that the reason Jack Nicklaus had such a great relationship with the media was because he knew everyone by name and talked to them like people and not inferiors. Tiger did that a lot yesterday. Luckily for me, Deadspin did some mashing up and put it on the internets for me to take from them. Thanks, Deadspin. The only questions I really have left unanswered were about his schedule for the rest of the season. I want to know when and where he is going to play next and I’m sure those tournaments would like to know. Also, there are some rumors that Elin is pregnant. Four months pregnant to be exact. Some mental math lets me know that the conception occurred roughly right around the time his whole world was rocked. What’s for sure is that she didn’t give up her whispering eye after she found out about Tiger’s bitches. What’s a whispering eye?

Speaking of Tiger’s bitches, Vanity Fair is doing a little feature on them. It sounds like it could be pretty revealing. I’ll probably pick up a copy. That whole Gus Johnson soundboard thing, now there’s one for Tiger. There are some good clips. I’m partial to “uhm, I wouldn’t be able to sit for a while” and “most of them are doubled over in pain.” Haha. Sexual innuendos.

More on the golf though, Tiger’s playing with KJ Choi and Matt Kuchar the first two rounds. Tomorrow is the Par 3 contest, which I love because most of the guys have their little kids caddying for them and the kids are hysterical. They just run around and do funny little kid shit that makes it funnier because it’s at the high and mighty Augusta National. I like it. And it gets me all jacked for the rest of the week. It’s 3-5 on ESPN. I’ll be watching. You should too.

Just because it’s awesome, here’s Ian Poulter’s drive down Magnolia Lane. Get excited.

-The US Soccer team only has 60 days until the World Cup in South Africa. A lot of attention has been paid to Charlie Davies, and deservedly so. His goal is to be back by May 11th because that’s when the National Team is going to be announced. I think he’ll be in form, but here’s a cool video.

Since I’m the only person in America that watches soccer in Europe, America’s chances are looking better and better as other stars from other nations are going down with injuries. Fabregas is out, Beckham is out, Rooney just got hurt. Stars are dropping like flies in time to miss the World Cup. At least the US team’s injuries happened far enough in advance that they should be healthy for SA10. Until now. Brian Ching just messed up his hammy. Deadspin thinks we should shut down the MLS until the World Cup so we don’t lose all of our best players like other countries are…

So how about the MLS takes the next few months off, and allows the US to head to the World Cup with a full squad? A good showing there will do so much more for the sport’s popularity than the first half of the MLS season would.

Oh, wait a minute. All the US players who will make a difference in South Africa are playing in Europe anyway. Carry on, then.

You know what this country needs? An all-white professional basketball league. Are you fucking kidding me, Moose?

The NBA playoffs are right around the corner. Here’s my favorite guy in the NBA being silly at the Finals last year…

and Stevie is also the most ridiculous man in the world…

Finally, this kid gets hit IN THE FAAACE.

That’s all I have for the evening. Gotta get geared up for Live From the Masters on the Golf Channel. Have a good night.

Boom.

I Beat Tiger.

I decided I would one-up my boy Tiger and make my comeback a little before he does this Monday at Augusta.

As  I write this, I’m in the car on my way down to Keeneland to watch some really genetically fortunate horses race one another. It’s Good Friday and that has always been kind of a religious day for my family in the past. My mom used to make us go to church and watch the stations of the cross, which was one part depressing, one part inspiring and eight parts a hugantic, ginormous waste of time, IMO. Luckily, with both of my younger siblings in college, the religiosity of my family has kinda gone down the shitter. My sister changed religions. Kinda, but not really and is all about Hay-Zeus, but against being banned from eating meat on Fridays because “no where in the Bible does it say we should abstain from meat.” Again, I’m not hating this.  I had a Big Boy for lunch last week and it was awesome. I digress.

I’m sure you’re all wondering where I have been at the past week or so. Well, faithful readers, as you may recall, I got robbed. Therefore, I have not been able update my blog because even though my Blackberry does have internet access, I can’t incorporate the videos, pictures and generally wacky antics that usually makes up a normal Red Pop Sports post. A special apology goes out to He-Dog because I pimped my blog to him, told him I update regularly (which used to be the case, and soon will be again), and since said pimping, I have done nothing for the blog in a while. That’s all going to change in the upcoming weeks.

Another reason I haven’t been writing is because I got robbed. As many of you know, especially since the people who read this blog are friends of mine and the other people who visit the site are people searching random things and get sent to my blog, I graduated a quarter early. Something you would think would make me an eligible candidate for a nice job because I have a step up on the competition, what with my few-months head start. But, in being robbed, and not backing shit up on my computer, I lost my portfolio with the exception of a few pieces, so I’ve been doing that this past week as well. Enough with the excuses. I have a good amount of shit to  write about.

I would be a douche if I didn’t start with the tournament beings I haven’t said anything about it since the before it started. Wow, it has been a while since I’ve updated. There’s not much more to say that hasn’t been said yet all over the internets in the past couple of days. Everyone is talking about the coaches in the Final Four, which is good news for me (and of course, Stink) because there’s been a lot of Bobby Huggs press. The best thing I’ve read is from Joe Posnanski. Poz talks about Huggs in a way that endears him to the reader. So if you’re in the mood for 3,500 words on Bob Huggins (and you should be because it’s an awesome read) you can read it here.  It’s kind of funny though, The whole piece is about how Huggs is a hard-working and admirable guy. Posnanski does a good job of making Huggy Bear seem as lovable as ever, yet there are more than 60 comments and the overwhelming majority are ripping Bob Huggins for having nothing to look forward to in life except his job. What the people commenting are failing to realize is that while Posnanski was at the Cincinnati Post (RIP, pour some out for a fallen homie), the only time he really covered Bob Huggins was at the gym. When he was talking to Huggs it was in a professional reporter/basketball coach environment. No wonder he only talked about hoops. Huggins isn’t an idiot (he graduated magna cum laude from West Virginia). He knows the people in Cincinnati, because they’re a lot like the people where he comes from: hard working people who want to support a winner. So, Huggins can’t just go “yea, basketball is fine and it would be great to win, but you know what really keeps me going each day? Rainbows and kids laughing.” Fuck that, Huggins is selling his team to the media and that’s how Posnanski got to know him best. Because he doesn’t include cute familial anecdotes isn’t because Huggs doesn’t care about that, it’s because he wasn’t in that context. If you want more Huggins stuff, you can go here and find out about his sweat suit, or here and find out why he’s this dude’s new BFFAEAE.

I love Bob Huggins, clearly, and that article makes me want to root for West Virginia tomorrow…

This video, and the others like it, also make me want to root for West Virginia…

But I’m a Duke fan. And that way they’re playing it’s hard to not feel good about their chances. Kyle Singler didn’t hit a field goal in the Elite Eight matchup with Baylor and Duke found a way to win. Nolan Smith was dirty and Jon Scheyer did what he does. I picked WVU to win it all because I thought that Duke would be out-athleted. Maybe I didn’t do my homework enough because Baylor clearly had the athletes that make up the perfect mismatch for Duke, but the Blue Devils hung tough and won. So what logic says that West Virginia is too athletic for Duke. I don’t know. The Bearcats Blog says we should root for West Virginia Saturday for a couple reasons.

The last point (They play Duke. Fuck Duke), leads into my next point. Why does everyone hate Duke? Especially this Duke team. They have no villains, no sure-fire NBA studs. They just play Elder basketball and have Duke across their chest, so America hates them. Doesn’t make sense to me. SI.com and a kid from Duke explain why you shouldn’t hate this Duke team, because they’re not the traditional Duke teams that make people hate them.

So that being said, I guess I pick Duke? Just for you Jimmer. Don’t question my fanhood. Either way, whoever wins will have the rooting interest of me come Monday night for the Championship.

And once the tournament is over, it turns into golf season and the Masters, when the azaleas and dogwoods signify the coming of Spring. Of course, back in Athens, we already know it’s Spring. Our whole quarter is planned out by the night and we built a basketball hoop on the back of our house, which has increased the overall worth of the house by, I’d say, a good $32.87, so we got that going for us, which is nice. Here’s the hoop..

Anyway, back to the Masters. Of course the big story is Tiger coming back. There’s not much else to say about it. Everything is in the police report. But what is funny/ironic/sad? Is that Elin may or may not be carrying Tiger’s love child. Love child because, come on, Elin is just like any other one of the chicks he’s been getting deep with, except maybe the fact that she gets half of his income when she drops him.

So those corporate dick heads sell us the HD TV because that’s the only way to watch sports (and Planet Earth/Life, both of which I am obsessed), and then come along and make that obsolete because Jimmy Cameron decided to make a crap movie about blue aliens in 3D. Now, we need 3D TVs. And the Masters is in 3D, which would be awesome. Since I’ve been there (ha, suck it), I know about the elevation changes and how hilly it is, and now you can finally understand it on TV because it’s in 3D. Maybe this could be the coolest thing ever, but I’m not made of money and can afford to go buy a new TV, so I’ll have to settle for HD.

This post has been sufficiently text heavy so I’ll try to refrain from much more in-depth analysis.

Saw this the other day about a porn star named Samantha Ryan who is a Kansas Jayhawks fan. She posted this video for 5 reasons being a KU fan is better than being a UK fan.

So, the same people  at the Kentucky radio station who did that thing to South Carolina’s Student Senate about UK being better than SC came up with this gem as a response:  Top 5 reasons being a UK fan is better than being Samantha Ryan. The only problem? Sammy is suing for defamation if they don’t take down the list. Here is the response from the radio station.

Dear Mr. Jones,

We are attorneys for Samantha Ryan. We have been alerted to the following article (enclosed) currently posted on your website kentuckysportsradio.com

Top 5 reasons being a UK fan is better than being Samantha Ryan

(1.) We are content with the fact that most of our guys could be “one and done.” Samantha Ryan can’t stomach the thought

(2.) Kentucky can take six highly touted recruits, combine them with seven hungry players, and make the best team in the nation. Samantha Ryan can take 13 guys, at once, and make her father disappointed.

(3.) A great day to UK fans includes bourbon and horses. A great day to Samantha Ryan includes bourbon and…well… horses.

(4.) UK fans erupt after watching the Wildcats’ good penetration, going back door, and slamming it in. On second thought, Samantha does, too.

(5.) Earlier this season, Ben Roethlisberger came in Rupp Arena…Hmmm

we’re not so different after all.

Are you sure you’re not a Kentucky fan, Samantha?

The above statements are false and defamatory. We have also been informed of similar defamatory statements and statements that portray our client in a false light made on the air. These statements constitute actionable defamation and false light. Further, there is an unauthorized photograph of our client on the site.

We hereby demand that you immediately remove the article from your website. We also demand that in its place, you post a correction stating that the statements made were untrue. We also demand that you correct on air the fact that the statements made about our client on your broadcast were untrue.

Please provide proof of correction to us immediately. If we do not hear from you, we will seek an injunction and damages.

Sincerely,

Michael

I have some more stuff, but don’t feel like doing anymore. I’ll put the rest up some other time this weekend.

By the way, I won monies at Keeneland. Yay Chris.